It is amazing the reaction a single word can achieve, and in our world of naughty fun and sexploration, it is important to be aware of this more than ever. Be it at a party, one of our kk chat groups or a private meet. Here our Kommunity Kitten and guest blogger BR explains why you should choose your words wisely and always be mindful of others.
Recently on a KIK chat with someone, I was called a MILF (Mom I’d Like to F*ck). It’s a word I hear a lot and can relate to. I’m a Mom of two beautiful children, I’m curvy with gorgeous boobs that I adore and yes! I’m hot!! But this word, and the context that it was used in, triggered something inside me that was pure anger. I couldn’t understand why it was upsetting me so much. I sat on it for the day, didn’t respond and tried not to think about it. But it stewed up inside of me, I felt myself getting angrier the more I tried to ignore it. I was conflicted with knowing, that undeniably, yes I AM a MILF, but I was so angry.
It’s not what was said, it’s who said it!
I reached out to my KK Kitten friends to try and make sense of my anger and maybe a bit of hurt thrown in. And it was one person that absolutely nailed it for me. To paraphrase “it’s not the word that has upset you, it’s the person who said it”. Wow! She was so right. This person had said it in the third message he’d sent to me. He didn’t know me from Adam, didn’t even know my name and yet, he felt it was OK to call me a MILF. To some, that’s ok, but for me, it was a huge red flag. My new connection was, very politely, told that I didn’t appreciate his choice of words and that I wouldn’t be talking to him anymore. He profusely apologised, which I appreciated, but I wasn’t comfortable talking to him again. We parted ways very amicably.
However, this has made me think of words that really are triggers for me. Words that are so powerful if used. They have positive and negative effects but are still only words. I’m Irish and everyone I come in contact with is called ‘love’. From my nearest and dearest to the pizza delivery guy. “Thanks, love” is a very common phrase that passes my lips. Since joining the wonderful world of Killing Kittens I’ve learned that the use of words can have such strong effects on people. For example, calling someone a “Good Girl” drives some women crazy with lust, but others can be filled with disgust.
“Lucky bitch” can literally mean, wow, you are so lucky, I wish I was too. But to some being called a ‘bitch’ can trigger emotions within them that can be so upsetting, they may really be affected.
“Sorry” can annoy one person but mean the world to another. Babe, sweetie etc etc
It’s not about stopping yourself from saying these words, we are only human after all, and can type the way we talk (which for me is a lot) It’s about knowing your audience. Knowing who you are talking to and building respect with the KK community, not just for yourself but for others too. It’s about respecting the person reading the message you’ve sent and it’s about knowing that a message reads completely different to the words spoken in person.
So…have manners, be respectful and above all, be nice