Here at Killing Kittens, we are delighted to welcome our guest blogger Brooke Archer, who is going to help us understand the online etiquette of KK, or put more bluntly, why we don’t want a dick shot until we’ve seen a headshot!
It amazes me how quick and keen people online are to send you pictures of their hard-ons, spunk covered tits, bare arses and shaven pussy’s. But yet, they resist on sending you that all-important headshot. You might have a nice cock, mate, but what about the rest of you? As shallow as it may sound when looking for a sexual partner we have to find them attractive. If we don’t, well, where’s the fun in that? And finding that partner online can be even harder than it is in real-life sometimes. I should know. After countless brazen messages and shameless pictures, here I am, wanting to educate the world on online etiquette.
Here’s where it all started.
Having been in a sexually adventurous marriage for years, I have indulged in many a naughty night with other ladies. From kissing and dirty dancing in clubs to intimate sexual encounters with an audience consisting of our respected other halves. But one day, out of nowhere, my desires suddenly changed – I wanted a man in a suit. And not just one – two. I wanted to be sandwiched between two sophisticated, well-bred handsome men (one being my husband). I had no idea where it came from. Out of the blue, my pussy starting craving something else. Something as passionate as what a woman could give me, but with more testosterone. And as the days went on and I thought about it more, the fantasies kept coming, and the torment of not being able to have this adventure started to drive me insane. I wanted to be wined and dined by two men and then fucked senseless on satin sheets in a five-star hotel room before telling them both to bugger off to the bar for a cognac so I could take a long soak in a bubble bath.
This fantasy had to be made a reality, so I told my husband. His reaction – a hard-on and a tongue in cheek comment about the other guy not being allowed to have a bigger cock just in case I run off with him. And after some reassurance about no man on the planet ever being able to match up to his stallion-like prowess, I removed my tongue from my cheek, and we agreed to embark on the journey and try and make this fantasy a reality.
First port of call – well-known swingers chat site.
After signing up to the free site we uploaded a photo (no faces) and added our description. Half an hour later, we were inundated with private messages and friend requests. At first, it was fun to have so much attention. But as the days passed and the messages kept coming, I deflated with each and every tasteless cock picture and crude communication. I was ready to throw in the towel. The fantasy of being stood, hands full of two suited and booted gents, was fast slipping out of my grasp. I closed my laptop and began to sulk like a sex-starved horny as hell eighteen-year-old. The moping lasted about two weeks before my husband and I decided to try a new site. With numerous to choose from, we chose another well-known free sign-up site, and guess what? Mhm, you got it. Within an hour of signing up, we had a mailbox full of dirty pics and phone numbers and email addresses with little or no text to them other than call/email me if you want to meet up for sex. I was once again dispirited. Where had the chase, the flirt and the sexy build up talk gone from the online community? Surely not everyone on those sites was just looking for a quick meet and fuck? Where were the well-tailored suits? The elegant and sexy cocktail dresses? Where the hell was the. God. Damn. Class?
Two days later, I closed the account. In fact, I closed both the accounts. The whole online experience had put me off the pursuit of a suit… FOREVER. But that eternity didn’t last too long, as one day I happened to stumbled upon the KK website. As soon as the home page loaded it screamed style and elegance – everything I wanted. And from there on in, I have never looked back.
But having been through the ordeal of other online sites and going absolutely bonkers at other member’s non-existent manners. I have decided that people need a lesson in online etiquette. And well, here it is. My top five etiquette rules for online sexual pursuits.
1. Put it away, it’s not time to play… yet.
It’s all very well sending a smutty picture, hell, you’re on a naughty chat site for Christ’s sake, but still, people, come on, let’s have a little class. The only extremity we want at first is a hand for an introduction. Then, if all goes well, you can send that all important head or tit shot you’ve been so eager to share.
2. Read profiles.
They’re there for a reason, so use them. And if you aren’t compatible, move on. It’s as simple as that. For example, if you’re a single guy reaching out to a couple who only want to play with girls, you will be wasting not only your own time but theirs as well. Save them the aggravation of having to delete your message or respond graciously with a ‘thanks but no thanks’ and refine your search accordingly.
3. Subject lines.
Don’t subject your first ever message to someone with lines like ‘I will make you squirt hard all over my face’, ‘I’m a heavy spunker’ or ‘I can meet tonight for sex’. Although this directness is what some people admire and want sometimes, on first correspondence with a stranger, I’d go for something a little subtler. I know personally if I received a message with a subject field like any of the above, I wouldn’t even open it. For some it’s okay, for others it’s an instant dismissal. Play it safe and try the refined approach.
4. Show me yours, I’ve shown you mine.
Do not message people with a headshot attached to an accompanying message along the lines of, ‘I’ve shown you mine, now show me yours’.
Yes, I understand that people don’t want to waste each other’s time, and seeing if there is a physical attraction there first always helps. But again, people, manners. Drop them a line to say that you’ve read and like their profile or something first. It’s common courtesy.
5. Patience is a virtue.
You’ve messaged a couple or person you really like the sound of but three days later, they still haven’t replied. So, what do you do? You send them another message. And another. And another. Stop it! Did you not consider the fact that this person or these people might be busy with their lives? Just calm down, no one likes a needy stranger. And when they do come to check their mail at the end of the week or when they finally get a chance and they see five or six messages from the same person, they’re probably going to get a little freaked out. Just play it cool. If their interested, they’ll get back to you when they can.
And there you have it.
In conclusion – The free sites are all well and good and they serve a purpose for some people, just not me. I’m impatient and I don’t get off on knob or pussy shots without a hello first. I don’t care how big it is or how neatly shaven you are. If you can’t be bothered to send me a message first, I can’t be bothered to appreciate your girth or trimming skills. It’s just the way I am. But if you are unlike me and you like receiving pictures from naked, consenting strangers, and you are patient enough to wait around and filter through the unsuited messages, hell, give them a go. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all the members on those sites are like that, some are actually really polite and genuine. But in my experience, the majority were instant willy/pussy (or willy in pussy) picture, senders.
So, for this particular situation of mine, the saying ‘you get what you pay for’ couldn’t be more apt.
Be naughty and play safe!
Brooke Archer x
Brooke Archer is founder and owner of Modern Sex, an online sex blog where she talks about all things… you got it… sex. From her own sexual adventures to the weirdest sex trends, Brooke Archer covers it all.
As well as being a sex blogger she is also an erotic fiction author (under a different pseudonym) to many titles and has a large following and loyal fan base.
When she’s not at her computer working away on her latest blog post or naughty book, you can find her running around after her young family, reading, or practising that now and then dormant hobby of hers, photography.
To read more from Brooke please visit her Modern Sex Blog