Here at Killing Kittens, we are delighted and extremely excited to welcome Emma Kenny into our Kitten fold as our resident KK Sexpert.
Emma is a Psychologist with over 20 years experience, presenter, and Writer, who makes regular contributions on ITV’s ‘This Morning ‘and ‘On the Couch’ therapy sessions in Closer magazine every week. As well as running her own healthy social network channel called Sochal. So let’s find out a bit more about Emma with a quick Q&A.
We are so happy to have you on board, first and most importantly, what made you decide to become a sexpert?
Firstly thanks for having me, it’s a real privilege to be asked for my expert commentary and I’m really excited to join the kindle of kittens.
I guess one of the main motivators was meeting Emma (your CEO) at a podcast we both took part in. Emma is a feminist who has a very clear idea of why she has created KK and it is all about female empowerment. When we met we connected over perspectives and ideas and I felt that whilst we come from different worlds, we inhabit a very similar ethos; one where women are freed from shame and allowed to be who they are whatever they may be.
I work in relationship and sex therapy and write about the subject regularly and I guess that also makes me a good fit.
I think Emma is bringing KK into the mainstream and that’s liberating for women, because it offers a different shade to sexual empowerment, with an unashamedly and unapologetically female agenda. That’s progressive and I like to live where progress rules so to speak.
You have embraced the ethos behind KK, while many others still see it as taboo, what is it about KK that resonates with yourself?
Sex underpins creation, it’s in everything that we do and to try to avoid that fact for me is reductive. My job is to teach women that they are entitled to a sex life that makes them feel amazing. Whether that’s in a monogamous, exclusive relationship, or in an open and varied partner capacity. What makes us sexually fulfilled is subjective, we all have different tastes and that includes on a sexual basis.
As a practitioner, it’s my job to be completely non-judgemental, because who am I to judge the way another grown adult lives their life?
Sex is adult play and should be treated in such a way. Women have lived too long with sexual shame and there is still a long way to go in that context.
I guess if I can make women feel that it’s ok to ask for their needs to be met, it’s ok to demand amazing orgasms, it’s ok to play out their sexual fantasies, then I’m continuing the work of the women before me who dedicated their lives to emancipating women from a patriarchal agenda where their needs were usurped by the expectation that their bodies were the possessions of the men they were sleeping with….in a nutshell!
You help and advise people every day, What would be your biggest piece of advice to obtain a healthy sex life?
STOP FAKING ORGASM’S GIRLS!!! I spend my life undoing the damage that women have done to their sex lives by spending years ‘performing’ for their men. They think that making a crescendo of noises is a way of making their men feel like Adonis in bed, all the while failing to satisfy their own needs. This in time leads to unfulfilled sexual needs and men who think 30 seconds foreplay and two minutes of penetration is enough to do the job.
When you have awesome sex, you want it very, very regularly, if that isn’t happening you need to have some very important conversations with the man sharing your bed and your body.
Also, share your fantasies, no matter how outrageous they may be. Feeling that your relationship is a safe place where you can explore your needs is fundamentally important when it comes to sex. Knowing that your other half ‘gets’ you and ‘accepts’ you create a deeper level of trust and helps with sex play in general.
Finally invest in sex toys for the both of you and in my opinion, you can NEVER have too many!
You are an inspiration to many young women, but who was your shero and inspiration?
I think I genuinely have a very long way to go before I can be classed as an inspiration, although that would be cool to be a term associated with me in thirty years!
My Shero is hard to define as it’s been different women at different times. It’s easy to think of Emmeline Pankhurst Oprah and Jane Austen.
However, my mother is definitely the most influential woman I have ever known, she made me, I owe her everything, she grew up in a time where she left school at 14 but brought all her kids up with a belief that we could achieve anything we desired. She still believes that, she’s a life force, a warrior and I am eternally grateful that I got to be her daughter.
You are a working mum, How do you manage the juggle?
I have a very supportive husband and incredibly easy kids. I lucked out and it’s as simple as that.
I was a single mum for six years and during that time my media career began to grow. It was a needs must exercise. I had no money, a part-time job and I needed to work to provide for my boys. My whole media career is down to those two little babies that relied on me fully back then. Being busy meant paying the bills and making sure my home wasn’t repossessed. That means that when I’m working flat out, I just feel really grateful and that helps with a sense of balance.
For the past six years, I’ve been with a man who does everything he can to make my life easier. Nowadays he does the hard lifting at home whilst I work in all the different roles I have.
Whilst I love my work, being a Mother has definitely been the making of me, they changed my life in so many wonderful ways and I count my blessings every single day
What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to our younger self?
DON’T wear white foundation!
On a serious note, I would tell myself they all the suspicions I had about the advice I was being given from the teachers at school about my character and my future were correct.
I would simply have said ‘you’re good enough and you will find your way, because other peoples opinions are not facts’
Many women through the demands of juggling life can have low sexual libidos, What advise would you offer to women who are struggling to find their inner Kitten and feel sexy again?
Unless you have a medical issue or have just had a baby there is unlikely to be a physical issue with your libido. This means it’s an issue with the sex life you have right now. Ask yourself ‘is this a low libido issue’ or simply ‘I’m not interested in the type of Sex I’m having right now’
Often the major problem is that you’re not using sex as adult play. Instead of looking forward to it, you instead look for ways to avoid it and that becomes a damaging cycle so far as your relationship is concerned.
To find your inner kitten, you must first learn how she wishes to play.
Hello, I am Kitten T the Editor of #itsakittensworld, passionate about sexual liberation and anything which encourages female sexual empowerment. I Love horses! You can follow me on Twitter for my latest views on the world of KK